eureka!

I just made the most fabulous discovery: iTunes U.

now, I can drift off to sleep listening to lectures from yale and stanford on american foreign policy, a survey of the old testament, and how to invest in the stock market.

I love the internet.

gifts

last week, I got the two best gifts possible.

a job. and a friend.

personally, I think I'm more excited about the second one. I had kind of expected it to be a while before I found a kindred spirit/soul mate kind of friend. but I think I may have found one . . .
(Rebecca and I chatting at 1 am)

honestly, I've received a third gift too, now that I think about it. my family has been helping this other family out. they have five kids with another on the way (due in a couple weeks), live in section 8 housing and are on food stamps. the dad has a job at 7-11. they were homeless for a long time, this is their first house. they just found out their oldest child is diabetic. they didn't have a great diet to start with, so this is really difficult for them. the kids are 11, 10, 8, 5, and 3 years old.

we took them thanksgiving dinner and a christmas tree. but even with as much as we are able to do, we can't help them with everything. so my mom told her sunday school class about this family, and also told our little handbell choir (10 people in that).

that very week, she received over $200 to buy fresh fruits and vegetables with, about another $200 worth of food, new baby clothes, and about 50 wrapped christmas presents for the kids. and she's still getting donations of things like furniture for them.
(all the presents to the left are waiting for us to deliver on Christmas Eve!)

the absolute best gift I've received this year is the amazing and humbling church body I now serve with.

clip

ready for a good laugh?

significance

There is this poem by Robert Frost that I have always loved called "The Most of It". Here is the beginning of it . . .

He thought he kept the universe alone;
For all the voice in answer he could wake
Was but the mocking echo of his own
From some tree–hidden cliff across the lake.
Some morning from the boulder–broken beach
He would cry out on life, that what it wants
Is not its own love back in copy speech,
But counter–love, original response.

Good poetry magically expresses something inexpressible. I love this poem because it so perfectly captures that deep longing in my heart for "counter-love, original response." I like to think that is exactly what drove God to create us.

I've just finished three out of five performances of our Christmas production. And I like it more and more each time we do it. The part I like best is at the end, just before the Hallelujah Chorus, when a guy gets up and summarizes the whole meaning of Christmas:

You matter to God.

You are his counter-love. Angels are God's echoes, but we are his original response.

centered

Our church's big Christmas production is next weekend - five performances.

We have practice for about 3-4 hours every night this week.

I got calls for two interviews - both scheduled for this week.

I have finished Christmas shopping yet.

But I got some job applications and Christmas presents mailed off today.

Strangely enough, I don't feel overwhelmed. Yet.

Ask me again on Thursday.

psalm 145

I will praise you, my God and King, and bless your name forever and ever.
I will bless you every day, and I will praise you forever.
Great is the LORD! He is most worthy of praise! His greatness is beyond discovery!
Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts.
I will meditate F107 on your majestic, glorious splendor and your wonderful miracles.
Your awe-inspiring deeds will be on every tongue; I will proclaim your greatness.
Everyone will share the story of your wonderful goodness; they will sing with joy of your righteousness.
The LORD is kind and merciful, slow to get angry, full of unfailing love.
The LORD is good to everyone. He showers compassion on all his creation.

All of your works will thank you, LORD, and your faithful followers will bless you.
They will talk together about the glory of your kingdom; they will celebrate examples of your power.
They will tell about your mighty deeds and about the majesty and glory of your reign.
For your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom. You rule generation after generation. The LORD is faithful in all he says; he is gracious in all he does.
The LORD helps the fallen and lifts up those bent beneath their loads.
All eyes look to you for help; you give them their food as they need it.
When you open your hand, you satisfy the hunger and thirst of every living thing.
The LORD is righteous in everything he does; he is filled with kindness.
The LORD is close to all who call on him, yes, to all who call on him sincerely.
He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cries for help and rescues them.
The LORD protects all those who love him, but he destroys the wicked.
I will praise the LORD, and everyone on earth will bless his holy name forever and forever.

thanskgiving

new Kohl's = two new pairs of dress shoes for $28 ($60 value).

the three panel interview didn't kill me - and I was even able to get excited about the possibility of working for the Healthcare Information Resource Center.

I survived 5-yr old Jaron for three hours, who had broken into the pantry last night and ate an entire bag of pretzels while on a gluten-free diet.

the tacos for dinner were the ones with the freshly cooked tortillas.

I made one friend at the worship service tonight, and didn't make too much of a fool of myself talking to a guy I went out on a date with a month ago and never heard from again.

my muscles have that sore running-around-all-day-without-sitting-still feeling.

inspiration

today I met a couple who are going to Cameroon as missionaries. they have ten children. the first four are theirs biologically, and are grown up. the remaining six are all adopted - and from countries all around the world. their youngest son was literally abandoned in a cardboard box on the street in China because of a correctable birth defect. they are going to take five of the children with them to Cameroon and homeschool them along with all of their other responsibilities there.

I was so honored to meet two flesh-and-blood heroes today.

hydroplane

driving at night in rain for 120 miles is a great time to pray.

tightrope

there is a fine line between alone and lonely.

I went to a worship service last night expecting it to be a little weird. because it was a college/youth service and I don't really know anyone there. when you walk in the door, people are already standing or sitting around in their groups talking, and its awkward to figure out where you fit.

however, I was pleasantly shocked to find myself actually enjoying the service while feeling alone. I felt the comfort of being in the house of God with other believers, and yet also enjoyed this kind of space that was just me and God. because I was alone.
in a good way.

and then, at the end, they played this song that was sung by the worship leader at my church in London. and when I closed my eyes, it felt like I was back there worshiping with that body and with my friends right next to me.

when the song ended, I opened my eyes and I felt lonely. but just for a little bit. even that part is good, because it reminds me that even friends who are far away need prayer.

sustenance

I only have one more week left of my super-cool grandmothers' bible study of Isaiah. they are the coolest women in my church.

here is a verse I've been chewing on this week, from Isaiah 58 -

Feed the hungry and help those in trouble.
Then your light will shine out from the darkness,
and the darkness around you will be as bright as day.

but this is really where my NLT doesn't do the original justice. check out the NKJV:

If you extend your soul to the hungry
And satisfy the afflicted soul,
Then your light shall dawn in the darkness,
And your darkness shall be as the noonday.

And if that little change between "feed the hungry" and "extend your soul to the hungry" wasn't interesting enough, try the good ol' KJV:

And if thou draw out thy soul to the hungry,
and satisfy the afflicted soul;
then shall thy light rise in obscurity,
and thy darkness be as the noonday:

I looked up that word, "extend" or "draw out". one commentator said it meant "'impart of thine own subsistence' or 'sustenance'. 'Soul' is figurative for 'that wherewith thou sustainest thy soul.' or 'life'."

which means, that God is commanding us to take whatever sustains us, whatever gives us life, and give it away to those who are hungry. starving. dying.

whether that means literally, giving food and shelter and safety to someone who lacks the physical things needed to live. until they are satisfied - sated, gutted, saturated.

or emotionally. or spiritually. isn't that a great way to put it? our purpose here is to "impart our sustenance".

sometimes its hard to remember that when I'm busy or "on my way" or its the most annoying person ever . . .

connotations

our sunday school class has been working through Ephesians, and we got to chapter 5 today.

And further, you will submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (v.21)

I've been thinking about that. I don't like submitting to people who aren't smart or experienced or have obvious authority over me . . .

I don't like thinking of the word "submissive" to describe me.

but I do want to be like Christ. hard to reconcile it all.

interviewed

I not only had a great interview today, for an office that is hiring THREE people (and I qualify for each position), but it was for a department that I wouldn't mind working for. First 5 California Children & Families Commission.

sounds a lot better than saying I work for the Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control. or the Department of Toxic Substances Control.

both of which I have to apply to this week. but I sure don't mind telling them that I'd rather not work for them.

smiles

better than dressing up - more cute pics here

concession

okay, I finally broke down. but I swear that Facebook is the LAST online community that I'm joining (for at least a year). I really hate these.

but I like friends.

mistletoe?

today my family spent this gorgeous October day by . . .
. . . hanging christmas lights.

maybe crazy. but sure beats doing it when its cold and rainy.

of course we aren't turning them on until thanksgiving.

except for once to make sure it looked nice :)

resurrection

my cute little laptop just got baptized - away with the slow, corrupted files and reborn into squeaky cleanness (also called reformatting).

now I don't have to press the power button three times to get it to shut down :)

connections

I'll miss the blue and gold blog just like I miss High Street Kensington and riding the tube, but as always

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

so just think of this as tearing down the old blog and building up a new one :)

and for whatever time you are in right now, just remember that He has made it beautiful!